about today all i have to say is oy vey

lol so these random people keep IMing me and telling me im cute and then leaving and never coming back, maybe theyre just messing with me. Thats really mean, come to think of it. meh

I would like to say that while i was pissed at sarah, i still like her and agree that she should have moved on, jason is not good enough for her, he never has been. If i were her i would have broken up with him a long time ago, in fact i applaud her for finally moving on. just to make that clear

ok now i realize jasons having issues and everything, but is suicide ever really an option? what the hell, we were standing on that stupid fucking bridge for an hour, it was fucking cold the asshole. I do feel bad for him though, cuz sarahs moved on and he hasnt when she gives him the ring back hes gonna freak, though, because he really thinks that theyll get back together and im not sure this time. Honestly, though,its probably best for him if they dont, after the way she acted last night. First she lied to us and said she was going home, but she went to Ryan's, then we tried to get her to come to the bridge, but she was like "it's physically impossible for me to do that at the moment" bitch ok i love the girl and all, but come on, right?

so yeah i think jay and i are friends now, not sure if thats a good thing or not, but whatever, right?

Ok, so apparently my new job is to find Suzyn a chick, which shouldnt be very difficult because I can do it for someone else, just apparently not for me. When its me, i tend to be a huge chicken. ok so im a huge loser and i tend to not care what others think, but this is because i myself am so critical of me. As a kid i was that kid, and it had some impacts on how i view myself, lets just say im not as confident as i often appear.

OK so now that all of that is cleared up, lol. What an interesting few days i have had. so now apparently everyone (the three people i have talked to) thinks they should find me a girlfriend because it would be funny. See, since they don't ask about past people they assume there weren't any, whatever, but nadia used the word hilarious to describe me dating, and jess and stamer? they said damned funny, damn you, just find me that cute lesbian you have been talking about since im apparently the only one who's still single in the group. Stupid people going and getting all hooked up. lol yeah, I understand where they are coming from and all, but to tell me that they would find it that amusing is a little mean. damn them.

just thought i would point out that i was right, it was a girl, how frigging hard was THAT to figure out? While, Nicole i do appreciate that you didnt want to tell me so that you didnt hurt me we are still friends, i dont own you or think i own you, you should know that come on.

ok damn everyone, if nicole doesn't want to tell me something, don't tell me that, i mean come on, "hey kathy, hehe nicole was telling me about this problem of hers and i gave her advice and stuff, but i dont think im supposed to tell you what the problem is" grr
normally i wouldnt care and at first i didnt, but three people have told me the same thing, its getting annoying, its so annoying in fact that i wouldn't be surprised if they are all messing with me for no real reason other than to mess with me. damn you all

damn damn damn, every time i think im getting over her she goes and does something cute again, shes such an uberbitch.

ok so my religious cult is booming! we now have three songs written, three are in the works, we rule.
my cult is the best ever,
jess admitted that she cares about me!
JeSSter1619: well kathy...i think i genuinely care about you too
ha now she can never deny it... lol
ok im done, i have nothing more to say now.

i just realized how good my friends (and forced frequent aquaintances) have been about keeping who my crush is from my crush. Wow, i think this is the only time that they have ever kept any secret from someone they were supposed to keep it from. this is like a milestone or something, yeah thats all i had to say today

yeah so i havent blogged in a while, for suzans benefit, i am doing it now, i know youre just about the only one who reads this anyway. I have decided to get over myself and stop having crushes on people, it takes too much effort and they never like me back anyway (im pretty sure she doesnt feel the same way) so ya, you have to go to prom with me, i want you to, im not asking cuz im desperate, i dont even really want to go, but i would love to go with you, darling, go with me. please?