So yesterday Cindy and I went to see the Beerfly Alley fight and also Vox Pandora, both of which were amazing!

The Alleyfight was great, who doesn't love food and beer (well, me, actually on at least half of that) but even so, I tried several beers that I liked (yes liked!) and there was a lot of good food. The art, though, I think was the real winner of the day, from Johnny's Shpiel about how he went from thinking that beer is a really attractive woman with no personality (picture of Paris Hilton pops up) to realizing that she gets a long with some really great people and that she's just not his type to Logan's Giant Ducks attack, where giant ducks attack Japan (everything happens to japan) and are thwarted by beer, which shrinks them and the world is saved once again by beer to the dancing by Mindy to the story book (which won) by Eliza, it was so much fun. I definitely look forward to it again next year!

Vox Pandora was really good, too, it was serious and funny and odd, all things I would expect from Bilal! I didn't really know the story of Pandora, but they explained it, which was killer for those of us lamens who know only a little about Greek mythologh (or history, if you will). It really was great, I'm super glad that I got to see it, especially since it closes next week!

Tell me what to do.

Seriously.


Sharon talked to me today about my wanting to leave.

I hate that I am so torn, but I think that shows exactly how much this job has meant to me and for the most part, does mean to me.

I've learned that I can't speak about this. It all comes out in tears, likes and ums.

But I can blog and I will.

I hate that I don't know who to talk to. Sharon said that despite what I think, I do have Bethany to talk to, but I don't know if that's true and I don't know if I want it to be.

Bethany drives me nuts sometimes, when I hear her talk about her huge problems all I can think is, try one day in my life. But the frivolity and childishness can be fun at times as well.

I don't want to talk to her in any kind of serious way, frankly, I don't want to talk to any of them in any kind of serious way, I just want to be able to say "Hi" without wondering if they are trying to figure out why I am talking to them. I want to feel like I can say stuff to people and i don't feel that way, I feel like I have to be guarded all times when I'm at work and I hate that. I used to be this way when I was a kid, you know, when I was made fun of all of the time. I was able to get over caring about what other people thought in high school (odd, huh? that's when most people start to care) and I have retained that mentality, but that is not the issue right now. I don't care whether anyone finds what I have on to be lower than their standards of greatness.

Sharon did mention that at Kimikai's work baby shower there were only about 6 people who showed up, which amused me. She said that she and Cassandra kept whispering to each other about the gifts that she did receive and the whole thing felt really awkward.

She mentioned something that I've already thought about-taking a few days off to think about it. Maybe I will, she said and I quote "You have accumulated enough vacation time to take two days off a week if you wanted," not that I want that, but it was amusing.

I'm still wondering how Rosemary knew I wanted to leave...

Tell me what I should do.

No.

Tell me what you think. I want to think about it and while I know you already feel as if I need to go, something makes me not want to.

I have been here almost two years, I have been treated very well. This is my first serious job, so I may just feel some loyalty for that reason, but I do truly love this company, so maybe it's something more than that.

this is a long post, I apologize, I wanted to call, but that wasn't really an option.

?