I don't know what's going on this week, a lot of my relationships are going to shit.


Want to know the worst part? I care to the extent that it feels like I don't know how to judge people as well as I thought I did, but I don't know that I really care if I lose the people it seems like I'm losing. That's ok, though because I know that there are a few people who I did not judge wrongly because they have been there for years and have been amazing friends. To those people I say, thank you. You know who you are, and you rule.


Now that I think about it, I don't even know if the people I'm talking to read this. If they/you do, cool, but I'm not even sure about that.


I need sleep, I don't feel well, but I can't get to sleep. Fucking shit, man. oh well, I'm going to try, I guess.


G'night all

Missa, this made me think of you

"Funny noises are not funny unless laughed at."

You tempt me with your "Come HIther" stare,
You look as if you haven't got a care.
You ooze with confidence and pride,
"With me, you'll get a fun ride,"
But I know the truth,
And I know that's not true.
I know the real you,
The you that makes people do stupid things,
The you that makes them think they have wings.
I know the you they want,
And I know the you you are.
Like most people you are not who you pretend to be
You say you're fun and free,
When you're paranoid and unhappy.
You say you're gentle and sweet,
WHen in the end, you'll make me depressed and not want to eat.
You say you're a fine wine, an exquisite taste
But I say,
YOU'RE A WASTE

cme on, he's cute 

MIchael and Jimmy!! 

we look so cute together 

Your Boobies' Names Are: Cheech and Chong

Get your own Boobie Names

You Know You're From Chicago When...

You say "Wanna go with?" when you mean "Do you want to come with me?" You know what Kennedy, Dan Ryan, Eisenhower, Edens, and Bishop Ford, have in common and curse one of them daily. You know what "the Hillside strangler is." You can name three or four extra taxes nobody else pays. You know the difference between Richard J Daley and Richard M Daley. You can use two or three Daleyisms in context. You can imitate the Mayor's whine. You say Chicawgo and not Chicaago. You think going to a Bears game in single digit temperatures with a wind off the lake (and freezing rain) is fun. Da is a proper definite article. You expect corruption in local politics. You go to the Dells in the summer to get away from the other 20 thousand that followed you. You've been caught speeding in Wisconsin because you had Illinois plates. You guard your shoveled parking space with an old chair and unusable broom. You know why they call it "the Windy City." You know dead people who voted. You understand the Democratic machine and don't fight against it. You've never ever considered the idea of hiring non-union laborers. You've never been to Springfield. You know a good gyros joint. You know what Giordanos, Lou Malnati's, and Gino's have in common. You know when the last time the Cubs won a pennant. You know exactly how many cars are "legally" allowed to turn left after the light turns red. You don't know which ethnic "fest" to choose on any given Summer weekend. Your idea of relaxing and getting away from it all is Ravinia (with 10,000 others who have the same idea). You can recite many of "The Blues Brothers" lines and know where they filmed certain scenes. You consider paying someone to watch your car at a sporting event as just another "city tax." The "Living Room" is called the "front room" You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois. You become irate at people who do You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city"). And you swear everything is pretty much 15 minutes away You refer to anything South of I-80 as "Southern Illinois" You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake" You refer to Chicago as "The City" "The Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in a series of 35 played in January of 1986 You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers! You buy "The Trib" You think 35 degrees is great weather to wash your car! You know what goes on a Chicago Style Hot Dog You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is You understand what "lake-effect" means You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know which station they end up at. You have ridden the "L" You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847,630,773,708, 312, & 815 You respond to the question "Where are you from" with a side" example:"WEST SIDE", "SOUTH SIDE" or "NORTHSIDE." You know what the phone number is to Empire Carpet! You wear gym shoes, not sneakers. Your favorite melody to hum is "Bang,Bang,Bang-Skeet,Skeet,Skeet!!!!" You faithfully attended Lil Louis parties at The Bismarck. You GOT to have spaghetti at your barbecue. You are STILL a Bulls fan........ You think kicking it outside of White Castles parking lot, (79th and Stony Island) is the "Freak Nik" You go to Harold`s and order 4 pc wing, mild sauce, salt and pepper. You have a picture of Harold Washington in your kitchen, living room, family room or basement. You have ever waited in line at Home of the Hoagy on 111th for 30-45 minutes for a steak samich wit cheese You have ever been to the Tiki Room lounge in Hyde Park You have Y made a special trip downtown because you had a craving for Garrett's caramel and cheese popcorn. What!!! We don`t get a Fifty? Oh yeah.... You drink at bars called "Bud on Tap" or "Milwaukee's Best" -- no names, just beer signs out front. It's January and you see someone's kitchen chair in the street, and you know that if you're a responsible citizen and bring it back to the sidewalk you will be shot on sight You live two miles from work and it takes you two hours to drive there You don't flinch when you pay the fifth toll of your 45-minute car ride on the highway When you read a big story in the paper about mob ties in the city government, your first reaction is "So, tell me something I don't know." You know Lincoln Towing is Satan incarnate. You've paid $105 for towing, $30 for more than one "street cleaning" ticket, $58 for a city vehicle sticker, and $70 for a license plate sticker -- and chalk it all up to "neighborhood taxes." You pluralize grocery stores and retail chains: "I'm going to Jewels"; "I bought it at Targets"; "I couldn't find parking at Wal-Marts" You've taken the Red Line past the point where all white people get off and all black people get on -- or vice versa. You've cursed at a cyclist, pedestrian, or in-line skater on the lakefront path. You know the significance of State and Madison. You wonder if the fries will taste the same at Sammy Sosa's Restaurant. You don't miss Planet Hollywood. You're not ashamed of wearing a big fur Russian hat, or a headsock with one hole in it, in public from November through March. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Chicago.

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Your Brain is 60.00% Female, 40.00% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

I went to IKEA yesterday!



By the way, I had a great weekend. Sunday kinda sucked, but in general, I had a great time and I am really glad that I got to go. Especially cuz I saw the orange moose, yeah orange moose!

I met a really cute boy this weekend who is moving to boystown in a few months, so when he does I'm going to show him around a bit, educate him on all things Neofuturist, and so on. He's 21 (or up) so I can't bar-hop with him, unless SOMEONE finds out by talking to his brother how we can introduce him to bars.....

In other news...yeah I got nuttin'...oh wait, I do have something, Jeff put his own message in the latest update on him, it's kinda depressing because he says he went from being the guy who loved life to someone who is trying to figure out why he is still here...I need to go see him, if he needs to be reminded that he deserves to still be here, I want to help him realize that. I miss him a lot, anyway, I just want to go visit him. Hopefully, I can go sometime this week or next. He's going to be home soon, so I may end up visiting him at home, but he needs the people who he used to be around to stick by him, otherwise, he may never be the Jeff he once was. Let's face it, he may never be that Jeff anyway, but I can hope that he will become the kid who loves life once more.

wow did I have a fun night...

No I'll start with the conference...

I had a blast. I met a lot of really cool people and I am super-glad that I went to it. Jess and I hung out a little on friday and then we went to a dance on Saturday and hung out some there as well. Actually, at the dance I kinda hung out with everyone, including random people that I didn't know...At one point Tammy had disappeared with Maureen and I was like OK, moved up on the dance floor and started grinding with this random boy, it was so funny!!!

We went to a session with a librarian named Debra Davis, she's the first person in high school ever to have successfully switch her sex. She said it happened over a weekend because her higher ups had gotten wind of it and they didn't know what to do. She was talking about how some people were just like..."whatever", but she had a few that were really cool. There was a girl who came up to her counter at the library and just put her head in her hands and stared at her...and eventually said, "you know, you're the same person" and she said "Yes I am". There was also a jock who came up to her counter and we like "Hi, Ms. Davis, do you think you'll need any help to your car? Because if anything happens I can make sure you get to your car ok." To which of course she said no. Thank you, but no. She was amazing, I really liked her... she has a site... debradavis.org that you can read about her coming out and stuff.

ok, then sunday happened. Tammy met this girl and they were talking and they kinda like/d each other...anyway jess came up to me because we were going to see the same person speak and she was like...

Jess:My aren't they friendly?
Gurrty:Stop
Jess:What?
G:Stop, just stop. You both need to stop doing this to each other. You need to get over yourself...blah blah blah
J: whatever (and stormed away)

I felt really bad because I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, but it's the truth. She cares about Tammy, I have no doubt about that, but when she has her, she loses interest or hates herself for it, but then when Tammy seems interested in someone else, she flips out and is in love with her again. The problem is the cycle will and has only continued to hurt both of them. She thinks I have sided with Tammy and maybe I have. In my mind, Tammy and I have been friends longer. I have known jess longer, but we were not friends for a lot of it and then I completely stopped feeling like she was a friend when she started hanging with Tammy, so I bonded with her, Jess and I started to become friends again when she and stamer started to go to shit. Maybe that wasnt entirely why, but thats what happened...she had less people to turn to so she bumbed me up a notch on her list of people to call when she needed to vent or to talk....this summer the person that I realized that I cared about the most is danny...i know that danny and i will be friends for our entire lives...i never felt that way with jess or stamer...

tammy said she doesnt think that i should post how I actually feel, but i disagree, i told jess last night how i felt and i talked to stamer for a while (online for both) i was drunk, but i know what i said and i meant it when i said it. jess ended up just signing off because she "didnt expect this from me" and the reason that she and tammy fucked up the first time was because her "friends got involved" which is funny, cuz i didnt think that was entirely the case...whatever.

mom...remember when i said that i wouldnt tell jess that? this is kinda why...but at the same time...i dont know that i care...if she ever gets over herself enough to realize what i said was true, maybe she'll...who am i kidding? I dont think she will.

You Are the Very Gay SpongeBob!

Because the religious right says so... And because his best friend looks a bit too much like a penis.

What Gay Childhood Icon Are You?

Patrick so does not look like a penis, HE'S A STARFISH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!

Uncle Shrek 

Danny and I really are cute, aren't we? 

Only Jimmy could make this look cute!!!! 

You are an enzyme. You are powerful, dark,
variable, and can change many things at your
whim...even when they're not supposed to be
changed. Bad you. You can be dangerous or
wonderful; it's your choice.


Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

oh, and Jeff is doing better, he is walking with help! He is having a rough time, though, he will randomly start yelling because stuff is kinda tough for him and he's getting frustrated. Don't worry babe, my thoughts are always with ya.

Hey everyone!!! How's life?? Mine is going quite well, so yay! I'm hanging out with Cindy tonight, we're supposed to see Boogeymen or something, whatev, I don't care what we see, we all know this...There was something I wanted to say...Something about/to jess.... ohohohohoh I went to see Missa's PIR (they did def poetry jam!) and the other school totally did 43 plays for 43 presidents, so I was going to TML that night and I brought it up to Jay after the show and he was all, "that's really cool, I'll tell Chloe, since she's one of the authors of that play" and then... "By the way what's your first name, cause I have your picture?" !!!! He knows me, LOL, I really want to go with Danny and have Sharon there so she'll be like, "hey, where's your friend" and then I can call you and you jizz yourself cuz she asked about you, LOL, I'm a loser, but whatever.

Hey all, haven't posted in a while, but I thought I would catch some people up on some things:

I talked to Stamer, but it didn't seem like we got anything accomplished and quite frankly I don't know that we will, she wants me to be angry at her and I just am not, plus it seems like she thinks she can say sorry and that's that, she doesn't even realize why we were at odds in the first place, oh well, no big. She's not going to the conference now, Tammy told her she didn't want any conflict between us to ruin the conference (or so she said). Silly Tammy, though, I don't care enough to be angry and have a fight, no big, though, I know that we will have fun, though I think that I would have had fun anyway, whatev.

Ummmm....Tammy is coming in town with Maureen this weekend, so hopefully Cindy, Tammy, Maureen, and I can hang out at TML!!!!

Speaking of TML, the Neofuturists were in the Sun Times the other day for The Last Two Minutes of the Complete Works of Henrik Ibsen, one of which Danny has to read for a midterm, lol, anyway, the story was really cool, and I think we should organize a day to go see that, it runs til some time in March, Jess, I think you should come down for it!!

I miss Cindy a lot, I wish I had a way of going out by her, maybe soon I will. She's just awesome and I have no way of really hanging out with her that often, so that sucks for me, but what are you going to do, right? Oh well for now.

TTYL!!!