People wrong you & you always think about it, they rent space in your head. Confront and move on. Don't let them rent space in your head.

Miller Lite and Patron

No, not together.

Well, not completely together anyway!

So for a long time now, I've been convinced that Tequila and I were not friends. More than that, we were the kind of not friends that, when at the same party, would shoot death looks at each other from across the room. But, as I've discovered, I've just met Tequila at a bad time, like when she was feeling a little feisty, you know, when she was in a Cuervo bottle. On Saturday I had a shot of Patron-just to make my aunt happy because she's a HUGE Tequila fan, and I thought to myself, "Wow, Tequila's not so bad after all!"

On the other hand, Miller Lite and I have been casual aquaintences, mainly when I'm already drunk, that's when we get along best. I just don't think even our slight relationship is going to last. I decided to switch to Miller Lite after several mixed drinks-mainly vodka with a splash of flavor-since I had to be at the zoo the next morning. I couldn't fathom being hung over at the zoo, so I tried to do the right thing. And I did, I drank crappy beer for the few drinks I had after that. We did play beer pong, but I cheated by not drinking as much of the beer as I spilled-it was purposefully, I swear! I think that was my last Miller Lite experience. But I really do think it's for the best.

I also think the blame falls on Sean and Steve-damn them for introducing me to good beer!

Goodbye George.



Here are some of my favorite George Carlin quotes:

Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.

Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too large.

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

And one of his most famous routines:
"I love words. I thank you for hearing my words. I want to tell you something about words that I uh, I think is important. I love..as I say, they're my work, they're my play, they're my passion. Words are all we have really. "We have thoughts, but thoughts are fluid. You know, [humming]. And, then we assign a word to a thought, [clicks tongue]. And we're stuck with that word for that thought. So be careful with words. I like to think, yeah, the same words that hurt can heal. It's a matter of how you pick them. "There are some people that aren't into all the words. There are some people who would have you not use certain words. Yeah, there are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven of them that you can't say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 to seven. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous, to be separated from a group that large. All of you over here, you seven. Bad words. That's what they told us they were, remember? 'That's a bad word.' 'Awwww.' There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad Intentions. "And words, you know the seven don't you? Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, huh? Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that will infect your soul, curve your spine and keep the country from winning the war. Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, wow. Tits doesn't even belong on the list, you know. It's such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname. 'Hey, Tits, come here. Tits, meet Toots, Toots, Tits, Tits, Toots.' It sounds like a snack doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is, right. But I don't mean the sexist snack, I mean, New Nabisco Tits. The new Cheese Tits, and Corn Tits and Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits Onion Tits, Tater Tits, Yeah. Betcha can't eat just one. That's true I usually switch off . But I mean that word does not belong on the list. "Actually, none of the words belong on the list, but you can understand why some of them are there. I am not completely insensitive to people's feelings. You know, I can dig why some of those words got on the list...like cocksucker and motherfucker. Those are...those are heavy-weight words. There's a lot going on there, man. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. They're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend with. And those K's. Those are aggressive sounds, they jump out at you. CocksuckerMotherfuckerCocksucker. It's like an assault, on you. So I can dig that. "And we mentioned shit earlier, of course. Two of the other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go together of course. But forget about that. A little accidental humor there. Piss and Cunt. The reason Piss and Cunt are on the list is that a long time ago certain ladies said 'Those are the two I am not going to say. I don't mind Fuck and Shit, but P and C are out. P and C are out.' Which led to such stupid sentences as 'OK, you fuckers, I am going to tinkle now.' "And of course the word Fuck. The word Fuck, I don't really...well, this is some more accidental humor, but I don't really want to get into that now. Because I think it takes too long. But I do mean that. I mean, I think the word fuck is an important word. It's the beginning of life, and, yet it's a word we use to hurt one other, quite often. And uh, people much wiser than I have said, I'd rather have my son watch a film with two people making love than two people trying to kill one other. And I of course agree. I wish I know who said it first, and I agree with that. But I would like to take it a step further. I would like to substitute the word fuck, for the word kill in all those movie cliches we grew up with. 'Okay Sheriff, we're gonna fuck ya now. But we're gonna fuck ya slow.' So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' rap on that word. I hope so. "Uh, there are two-way words, but those are the seven you can never say on television. Under any circumstances you just can not say them ever, ever ever, not even clinically. You can not weave them in the panel with Doc and Ed and Johnny, I mean it's just impossible, forget those seven, they're out. "But, there are some two-way words. There are double-meaning words. Remember the ones your giggled at in sixth grade? 'And the cock crowed three times.''Hey, the cock the cock crowed three times. It's in the bible.' There are some Two-way words, like it's okay for Curt Gowdy [mis-spelled in original transcription. -ed.] to say 'Roberto Clemente has two balls on him.' But he can't say, 'I think he hurt his balls on that play Tony, don't you? He's holding them. He must have hurt them by God.' And the other two-way word that goes with that one is prick. It's okay if it happens to your finger. Yes, you can prick your finger, but don't finger your prick. No, no."

I will miss you, George. To be quite honest, I'm still a little in denial, though.

Happy Friday the 13th!


but that's all


Last night was a lot of fun. The only act that I had heard of before the show was Barrel of Monkeys-which I have never seen-and they were hilarious. I think since I'm off Mondays now, I might go to That's Weird, Grandma! I wanted to go before, but I always worked Mondays. I actually should figure out which day I can volunteer there and start that-I'd get to the show more often! Wow, off topic, haha, I really think I might have ADD sometimes, but then I think, 'nah, just stupidity' once in a while they can be confused!

The show was a lot of fun-I got there late because of a combination of Shirlee doing my hair and Kelly having to be on the south side of the city. So I'm freaking out thinking I got all cute (and I mean cute) for nothing, but the guy who was checking people in said "oh, don't worry about it, we just say that so people aren't too late!" Whew! And then I got third row seating! I was on the end and I had a pretty good view. As I walked in, someone tapped me as a hello, so I kinda turned halfway and waved or something-not realizing it was Steve until a few minutes later-when it was too late to say hi!!! He looked great! Really handsome. And I think he was impressed with how I looked, as well...though I really wish my boobs hadn't been so out there-I really wasn't trying to do that, I swear!!!

But I haven't heard from Kelly since last night and I'm a little worried-not terribly because she went out with friends to a club and probably passed out at their house, but still....she didn't go to work today...I was supposed to be her ride, so I guess that's not so surprising, but still...I'm nervous..I could never be a mother, this sucks..

So I emailed him back and gave him my number, but he didn't email me back at all...I don't know how to take that. It could mean he's going to call me, it could mean he's a little freaked out and doesn't know what to say....this is why I stopped being forward with people I actually like....its so much easier when there aren't feelings involved....


we named the kingsnake Chaos, he's cute!

Okay, so I have my outfit together for Thursday, yay!! I emailed Steve to see if I could buy him a beer after the show, but he said that he's got some stuff early for the festival. He did say "Wow, you're coming!" So, I had to make extra sure that I got my shit together since he's excited that I'm going to be there!!

Oh, and we got a baby kingsnake!