I tried e-mailing this to the QQ, but as I know it did not reach at least one member, I thought I would post it here in hopes that someone who reads my blog has their current email addresses.

QQ Quotes

Can I be an honorary queer? How do I get to be gay? –Lisa
We’ve got a car full of queers and we know how to use it. –Jess

I’d kiss it if I could bend down that far. –Stamer on the Stamer van

Dude, no stop sign. Dude. No stop sign. DUDE! NO STOP SIGN!! –Nicole

I’ve seen some fat bitches in my day, but god damn, THAT’S A FAT BITCH! –Stamer

There’s something you don’t see every day, a guy walking down the middle of the street, well, the side of the middle of the street. –Stamer

Keep blowing until it gets hard. –Nicole

I have a thing for cherries. –Nicole

Stamer: Do you wanna be a dildo?
Jess: Actually...

Watch out, I’ve got drainage tubes and I know how to use them. –Stamer

I kinda like ‘em better hard. –Nicole

That guy’s kinda creepy…he looks like Nadia! –Nicole

If I know one thing about high school GSA’s, there’s no S. –Jess

Nice Apples. –Nicole

OO, OO! Wanna see Kathy’s face? –Jess

I’d rather gouge my eyes out with my mother’s broach. –Kathy

Anyone can see my cleavage, wait, don’t tell Jess. –Rachel

Are you sure you’re not a hermaphrodite because you sure do have the balls to look at me. –Rachel

A word? You want a word? No. –Rachel

It’s enough to turn a girl straight. –Kathy

They’re riding each other’s asses like good queer-mobiles. Jess

Oh! My nuts! –Stamer

I’m not an activist; I just don’t want to touch your meat. –Kathy

Nicole: Mmm…cherry
Kathy: What?
Nicole: Nothing…you’ll make fun of me
Kathy: You said "mmm…cherry," didn’t you?
Nicole (with shame in voice): Yes

This makes me wanna dance…and I don’t dance. –Nicole on Shakira

Stamer looks down at chest, Damn! They grew back! –Jess

What’s the one thing you don’t have to deal with as a lesbian? PENIS! –Nicole

It upsets me that Jess can’t come out. –Nicole

Jo: So what are we doing tomorrow?
Kathy: Having a mass orgy.
Jo: Other than the obvious?

If I were a dog, I would lick other people’s asses. –Jess

Boobs aren’t supposed to be yellow…unless you’re Asian. –Jo

It’s nice going out with a girl. You save so much money on condoms. –Stamer

Jess: I’m just pulling shit out of my ass.
Stamer: Most people do.

Jess: He was looking at my boobs.
Jo: And what exactly is there to look at?

It’s a little bit whinier and a little bit less of a douche. –Kathy

Pass the Squishy on the left hand side. –Jess

I do flail like a mofo. –Jess

We’re looking for a gay, homeless drifter, has anyone seen a gay, homeless drifter? –Jess

Let’s go lay-lie-in the hammock. –Nicole

Wanna steal a cherry picker? –Jess

I hope Rachel gets spina bifida. –Jess

Oh Oh! Interracial relationships! –Jess

You know what sucks? No benches! –Stamer

I just got my rod stuck in my ass. –Jess

Ladies and Gentlemen, queers at their finest. –Stamer

Stamer knows how to handle her balls. –Kathy

If I were to reincarnate myself, I’d either be a llama or a bra. –Jess

It must suck to be a firework, you have that one moment of shining glory…and then it’s all over. Kinda like the cast of 90210. –Jess

Fairy dust? Is that like dandruff on a gay guy? –Jess

These two are 90º angles; I’m just a slight curve. –Stamer on Jess and Kathy’s gayness

I’m gonna be reading this when I’m 90 and bust a hip laughing. –Kathy on the quote book

I’m full of the SARS and I shall infect thee. –Stamer

(To Stamer) Can I play with your banana? –Jess

Hello, I would do anything but make out with you guys and if the time came, I would pucker up. –Nicole on her loyalty to the QQ

She has to be queer she likes Journey. –Jess on Jen Evans

Park Job: Is that like road head when you’re not moving? –Jess

I wanna get the license plate ‘Sry boys’, but I think you have to be hot. –Kathy

Rachel: If you’re wondering what that pain in the ass is-
Jess: Yeah, it’s you!

I don’t do cherry. –Stamer

Like a fat kid in a dodge ball game, I’m out. –Franco

You know you’d want me if you didn’t know me! –Jess

That’s so great! I almost killed you with a look! –Jess on Kathy’s near demise

You can’t beat meat. –Jess

(As Diego tries to eat the quote book) There’s plenty of pussy in that book, but you don’t get to eat any of it! –Jess

I’m sweating like a black man on Father’s Day. –Tanya

[Tanya G.]’s like the Pillsbury Doughboy, only you poke her in the back. –Jess

A female floor? Is that where all the gay people are? –Tanya

Nicole: What’s with Stamer’s boobs?
Kathy: What do you mean?
Nicole: They’re shaped all funky.
Kathy: It’s cuz she wears a sports bra now.
Nicole: Go to Hell.

Wow, that movie combines the three things I hate most in the world, Avril Lavigne, Brittany Murphy, and children. –Jess, upon seeing a preview for Little Black Book

Everybody knows about Pandora’s Box, but few people know about Pandora’s douche bag. –Jess

Kathy: I want Nemo.
Stamer: Hold on, I have to find him.

"Do, do, do, do, do, do…JAMBA!" –Jess’s new slogan for Jamba Juice

Kathy, do me a favor and hit me in the back of the head with a blunt object (Kathy reaches for blunt object) Uhh…never mind…. –Jess

It’s the Mary Poppin’s bag of Mother’s broaches. –Kathy on her messenger bag

I want his DNA swimming through my ovaries. –Jess on Brad Pitt

It’ll be like Homo Derby. –Jess

Tap that ass like a keg in a frat party. –Stamer

‘Cause we were looking for big, tall, pointy things. –Nicole

Stamer: You’re screwed.
Nicole: No, but here’s hoping!

I can’t find the giant phallic symbol, but I can find the Golden Arches! –Nicole

If I hear "I’m coming out" one more time, I’m going back in. –Jo

I have to do a self-portrait and I don’t want to look at myself. –Stamer

Kathy, I hate you like a fat man hates hemorrhoids. –Stamer

It’s not my fault my girlfriend doesn’t want to fuck me until after we’re married! –Kathy

Stamer: Get over it, they’re not coming
Lisa: Oh, they’re coming, just not here (on Nicole and Jess F.)

Kathy, get this toy away from me, I keep fingering it. –Stamer

Your crotch is like a whale; it needs to come up for air once in a while. –Cindy

I swear I’m the straightest dyke. I’m straighter than Anne Heche. –Jess

Aww...the little douche bags. –Jess, while looking at children’s pictures

Jess: Do you have something against pickles?
Kathy: Little bit. (makes small finger gesture)
Jess: Usually. (makes small finger gesture back)

We gotta get porn…and kids! –Tanya

Kathy: We know where you’ve been.
Stamer: Oh, yeah? Where is that?
Jess: Ever heard of a band called "Men at Work"?

So Kathy…Does the carpet match the drapes? –Jess

Aww, Kathy, you had to have washed yourself at some point, or else you’d still have Neosporin all over your face. –Jess

I need to plan my ensemble. –Nicole

You know, I think Toucan Sam should be a registered pedophile. Hello! He lives in a tree, in the middle of nowhere with three boys AND he supports fruit loops…Shit, and we thought our churches were fucked up. –Stamer

Nicole, you’re intimidating cuz you’re scary and a little bit butch. –Lisa

Kathy: But I do have that secret crush on you.
Nicole: It’s not really a secret.
Kathy: (looks down in shame) I know.

Kathy: Oh, you know the QQ could never date.
Stamer: Sure we could…I call Nicole.
Kathy: Damn it! I get stuck with Jess!
Stamer: Ha ha! You get stuck with Jess! You get stuck with Jess. YAY!!

Jess: Damn, now my food is cold.
Nicole: Then go eat it.
Jess: No, I’m not hungry any more.

OOH, Nice knockers! –Cindy

OO, he has a spiffy stick. –Cindy

Kathy: What?
Nicole: Oh angry finger! Angry finger! You should have stopped me from falling in love with her!
Cindy: (spreading legs gesture) I can make you fall out of love with her.

Nicole: She makes me so mad I could eat babies.
Kathy: That’s not really that angry.
Nicole: Cute babies.

Stamer: You’ll be happy to know I had no hot dogs tonight, only tacos.
Kathy: Good for you.
Stamer: No, seriously, I went to Taco Bell.

She looks like me? Does she have a fat ass? –Nicole on Lauren

You know, if you were a guy, I could give you much better head. –Lisa, while massaging Jess’s head

You know where a Denny’s is; you have like Denny’s-ar. –Kathy

Lisa, my dog gets more action than you and she’s neutered. –Stamer

Mike: First tip to giving head: Don’t baby sit it.
Lisa: What?
Mike: I don’t know, I’m just pulling it out of my ass.

Lisa: How are you going to run faster?
Nicole: I don’t know.
Lisa: Oh, new shoes and an Überdykey haircut.
Nicole: ??
Lisa: To make you run faster.

Kathy: He’s so flamey, he puts Mike to shame.
Mike: I feel like we’re dating and you just cheated on me.

On making your boobs bigger: I wish I could do that at will, and then, you know, take them off for laser tag. –Kathy

As Jess sucks a fudgecicle in what she thinks is a seductive way: You know, if I had a penis or any attraction to you at all, I might be excited. –Kathy

Stamer: I feel like such a guy right now.
Kathy: I feel like a dyke. (on drooling over the terminatrix)

Stamer: (on glory holes) They’re mostly found in porn shops…and in bathrooms along highways in Wisconsin.
Jess: [silent yes]

I wanna be a terminatrix…actually; I just want to be terminatrixed. –Jess

Is it my fault I spark people’s curiosity in oral? –Stamer

Jess’s mom has got it goin’ on! –Kathy

Corn! Oh, no, wait, that’s a tree. –Jess

Lauren: That was a pretty straightforward quote.
Kathy: Well it wasn’t really that straight.

Kathy: He’s pretty hot.
Jess: But I bet you wouldn’t let him in your library.

I dig tassels, mention it to Cindy. –Kathy

Kathy: Oh you know you want to wake up next to a man in tights.
Mike: (pause for exaggeration) Not blue with the spider thingys.

Julie: Life’s a bitch.
Kathy: Not always, sometimes it’s a really hot lesbian.
Julie: And then you just say, "Fuck it".