So Jeff (from Jewel) sent me this and I thought it was funny shit, so here goes...

Sing this along to the Gloria Gaynor tune "I Will Survive"......



At first I was afraid,
I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong, and I knew I could take you on....



But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you've only brought me a French fry!
I should have known it was bullshit, just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known There was no anaconda lurking in those jeans!



Go on now go, walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't catch you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size doesn't count???!



Chorus) I will survive! I will survive!
'Cos as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive!
I'll always have good sex with a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive!. . .Hey! Hey!



[Verse II]
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing up so tall and proud!
But to hell with all your egos and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!



(Chorus)