i think it just hit me that i never have to go to leyden as a student again. Still not sure if thats a good or bad thing though. When i was talking to ms. north and gave her a hug, i was almost going to cry. I am really going miss her. I get to call her anita after thursday, dont know if ill be able to do that, itll feel weird, but i suppose after a while ill get used to it
i finally did my stupid research paper yay! it sucks ass, but its done
i think im actually excited about prom oh jeez my mom was like blah blah blah pictures, well you dont care b/c shes not your ACTUAL date, shes just a friend right?
....yeah mom....shes....a friend....
damn it though, that means she probably doesnt know which means i didnt get jipped out of it, but now that ive gone this long thinking she knew, i dont want to have to tell her now.....speaking of going to prom with a girl...no, i dont want to anymore stupid aunt telling me the stupid church girl told her DAMN HER
meh i really dont care, whatever

so my mom is funny she kind of suspects that i like jo, which i find highly amusing. I told her that i really liked her, she was like thats cool, you can always use more friends right? silly mom. She was also like why haven't i heard about her before? I said cuz i met her ar hershey, and i got the "oh, ok" nod.
anyway prom should be cool, im gonna go in a limo with nadia cuz she rules and she has room in the limo. my mom is making me all girly, but whatever
everyone gets to meet jo, except my wife and 1/4 of the quartet, because some people decide to leave concerts early instead of meeting the one who made the quartet an octet, loser nicole. Youre the only one who hasnt met her. NADIA is going to meet her before you, even suzyn will, but he is so much cooler than you anyway, lol
ok i have a research paper to bs 3 more pages on, soooo im going to do that now lu all

last choir concert ever! the seniors were "honored" with carnations, oh please, a carnation for four freaking years, oh please.
i gave the flower to jo
she didnt want to take it at first, but i made her, she said i was evil, oh well.
So stamer cancelled on prom, the skank, thats ok, im talking jo now, lol. I was invited to lasertag w/jess and nicole on friday, but im going to prom, yeah i really dont want to go, but ill deal. Itll be fine, ill have jo there, and tanya will be there
i told brad wray he was the sexiest guy there, then i was like...who isnt gay. He was a bit offended at first, but then he realized mike was there, so he lost to him, yeah im tired and i have a school crit paper to write.

everyone in the quartet is officially attached. Jess wants o have a party, lol. Jo is so cute, yesterday i was talking to her friend dave, not the gay one, this ones bi, but i told him i liked her and when i came online today, she was on, but i checked my email first and she put an away messge up it said "Waiting for certain people to get online. And for them to figure out that the feeling is mutual." how cute is that? ok im done

i think my weekend helped. I still felt like i dont have control of this whole eating disorder thing, but emotionally i feel a lot better.
I met some new gay people, well 1 and 1/2 i suppose cuz jo is bi, but Dave (the vp of On Common Ground) is gay, he has a bear named sunshine, thats all i have to say. the funny thing is, were it not for the necklace i probably never would have talked to him, he saw it and went 'cool, there are two gay people on the bus' (he doesnt know about his friend jo, which is funny cuz she told me after knowing me like a day) see adam, i knew there was a reason to wear the necklace, lol! Woohoo rainbow necklaces!
i kinda missed the quartet this weekend, its been a long time since i have not seen any one of them in more than 3 days, then i heard get busy and i was all yay the quartet.
oh jeez, i had ms cunningham sign my yearbook and she saw the queer quarter symbol and i think she found it really amusing, then we had discussion about gay kids in the school and apparently the teachers, assumingly rojek, miller and landes ask Ms. C which kids are gay, i found this a bit weird, expecially considering ms c has no clue and on top of that wouldnt care. She really is cool, though.
i kinda have a crush on jo, she is awesome, shes also a sophomore, but it could be worse... >:)
so we won 2nd out of two at the competition, but we did get a rating of excellent, so the judges were deaf. We also won the sempri decor award or some crap like that, it was for good sportsmanship or whatever, which means that since we only one one thing and only competed in one, they felt bad for us and gave us the sympathy trophy.
sleepy oh so sleepy
ps i also missed suzyn (i have a lil present for you) and everyone else whom i may not see everyday, like the quartet, but i still love

ok lately i havent blogged, so to make some people happy, here goes:

Lately i have been pretty depressed, maybe you noticed maybe you didn't, but the thing is when i get depressed, my eating disorder gets worse (yes i said eating disorder), and then iget more depressed,and the cycle goes on until i can find something to make me happy. This is usually just hanging out with the Queer Quartet, but lately i come back home and my family starts to be their normal assy selves.I dont know, but hopefully this weekend in Pennsylvania goes well because i would like to be happy again. LOL jess wants me to hang out with rachel this weekend b/c shes going, too. I probably will "make nice" liike jess asked cuz she seems cool and, quite frankly, anything is better than hanging out with the girls in my room they suck ass, i hate them.

my new quote in response to my saying Adam was not my type, he said:
"what, is it because i have the extra appendages in the wrong places?"

wiw do people need to stop coming to me for advice on their breakups, luis's ex girlfriend and tanya talked to me for like an hour today, cuz im the best person ever to talk to about a breakup. I didnt know what to tell lissa (luis's ex) cuz she cant know hes gay, but she thought he was mad at her and thats why he broke up with her. Damn it luis, whyd you have to have such a fucking awesome g/f when you finally decided to come out?

we have to go to the meetings jess, i know you have your thing for rachel and all, but you can still meet people with me. thats why i love you, eeww i cant believe i just typed that!

my dad is such an ass, i swear if he could get any worse, he would be christy, fuck i cant stand him

lalala, oh im going to pennsylvania next weekend, im so upset, i wanted to go to toronto the bastards, granted i get to go to hershey penn, but its not the same as going to toronto and trying to catch SARS! now i cant even do that, they take everything away from me, damn them damn them all...no wait fuck them, fuck them in the ear

i really dont have anything to write about, oh lol, melissa asked me if jess and nicole were going out, so i told her yeah, but we wondered why she never asked about stamer who she hangs out with way more than she does her actual g/f, she said that it was because stamer is such good friends and we were hanging out with nicole before she was dating, yeah OK li'l C, whatever.

Quote of the week
"You know kathy, we should make a T.V. show like will and grace, except itll be Danny and gurrty, and youll be the gay one!"
ilu suzyn!

Ok I know how much you people live for me to blog (specifically Butthead, you know who you are), so im blogging.
First off stamer actually said that, and I quote “The day you date is the day I move in with Tanya permanently, anyone else see a challenge there? Me too.
Ummmm…oh by the way jess, you know if you and I hadn’t been through so much…..lol
GO PRISM MEETINGS!!!!
ok then, nothing has happened in my life lately, sooo I really have nothing to blog about

havent blogged in a while, so to make y'all happy, here goes
yeah im at my dads house cuz he stopped being an ass-well not really but hes over it for now-
casey rules, but she hasnt messaged me back yet :( oh well, i really dont care, she is damn cool though